Contentment

Almost two years have passed since the last time I wrote on this blog. Gradually, things have changed. The experiences I’ve had over the years that I haven’t been able to talk about have been both fulfilling and challenging. My life has changed, presumably for the better, and so have my plans for the future.

I am grateful that, despite writing a few entries about how difficult college life is, I was able to get through it. I finished my degree and passed the board exam, which was one of my major goals. I’ve also landed a job at a company I used to dream about while job hunting; I guess my manifestation has been working very well lately. While this is gratifying, there are times when I wonder if this is truly the path I want to take, as it was not what I had planned. My ultimate goal is to work in the construction industry, but I am currently in the corporate world. However, I believe I still have plenty of time to explore. I cherish what I have today because I prayed for it all, and I look forward to the growth that this path will bring in the years to come. I may have uncertainties, but I am confident that everything will work out if I take a shot and try my best.

Since I began working and entered the “adulting” stage of my life, I have gained a better understanding of my parents. I now realize the sacrifices they made during those trying times, as well as on a daily basis, because providing for a family is challenging. It can be draining to wake up every day thinking about your loved ones, even when you want to give up. They strengthen you, reminding you that this is their first time living and experiencing such things. From waking up just to buy things you want, to going places you wish to visit, to instantly thinking of ways to make your loved ones happy with the places you want to take them and the food you want to share, it can be exhausting to think of others before yourself. Yet to love and give with all your heart is one of the bravest things to do.

My grandma passed away earlier this year, and that is something else I wanted to write about. In my last blog, I mentioned that another grandmother of mine died that same year. It was both terrible and devastating. Our family had three grandparents and two grandfathers when I was growing up, but they are all no longer with us. My lola, who passed away this year, was always seen as strict and stubborn; as a result, she didn’t have a close relationship with her grandchildren. However, we grew close during the times when she could no longer care for herself. We joked around with her, took pictures, and made silly videos. Although it was incredibly painful, I am thankful that I was there to take care of her and be by her side during her last moments. That experience made me realize how fleeting life is. Now, whenever I see videos of people with their grandparents on social media, I am always on the verge of tears. Grief isn’t something we can overcome in a day, a week, or even months, but treasuring those moments is a fulfilling experience.

Meanwhile, I wanted to write about the different circle of friends I currently have. I cherish all of them because, even though we are at different stages in our lives, we have managed to reconnect in the smallest ways. I used to believe that to strengthen our bond, we needed to talk or hang out all the time. However, simply rooting for them and letting them know I’m thinking of them every now and then allows us to make up for the time that has passed. Having the right people around makes things bearable, after all.

As I mentioned in my last post, “Liking someone again without the feeling of rushing things, without the feeling of pouring it all in and then regretting it afterwards because you rushed something that wasn’t meant to happen at that time, I just believe in the right timing—the timing that would eventually come from leaping toward connection.” I will always be grateful that I took the risk and we didn’t rush anything. Who would have thought that after I started to believe in perfect timing, I would be happier than ever? Of course, it wasn’t always rainbows and butterflies; there were challenges that really tested our patience, trust, and love for one another. Being with him—the person I love the most and who truly loves me back—always feels peaceful. The truth is, we have no idea what the future may bring. Nevertheless, we are still here, willing to spend the rest of our lives together.

Over the course of a year and ten months, I have encountered many difficulties and unfamiliarities. This blog entry serves as an update on my past events and the lessons I’ve learned from them. I will take things one step at a time, as I have consistently stated, even if it hasn’t been easy to accept and navigate everything that is new to me and all that is gone. Whether it’s about my goals, hobbies, or even relationships with people, I will always be someone who takes risks, despite the uncertainty of life.